The Man Has Arrived

See those pajamas? They mean Danger is in the house for good now. No, no, they mean that Danger is in the house for awesome.

How did you try to count to 18 stiches and miss by 18 f*cking stitches?

I'll have been knitting for a month as of tomorrow, and this is all I have to show for it: A smaller, tighter, uglier ball of yarn.

E for Effort

I'm glad somebody finally realized that it's freezing at the University LRT station platform and installed heaters, but, as you can see, they aren't totally effective.

I DO NOT NEED A MOUTH TO EAT YOUR SOUL

I don't know what everyone is complaining about. Sure, -46C (-50F) at noon sounds cold, but you just have to dress for it.

The Wonderland Time Machine

Alison just found this Polaroid camera that causes everything it captures to be magically transported back in time 30 years.

The Circle of Life

So, 10 years ago somebody takes me to Value Village and convinces me to have a certain style, then the style becomes popular so big brand names start making new clothes with that style, then people who buy clothes that are new and popular buy them, get tired of them, and give them away to Value Village where I find them and buy them because nobody has convinced me to change my style in 10 years.

Society

I was told that the Burns Society Dinner is only for Scottish people, but I guess they made an exception for His Honor the Lieutenant Governor of Alberta Norm Kwong, whose Aide-de-Camp totally asked me to get out of the way so he could pee. Or, I suppose, Norm Kwong could be Scottish.

Product Placement

Yeah, um, I know it was 2:30 in the morning, but still, I don't think any of these companies wanted their brands displayed quite like this.

Little Lost Robot

This probe droid looks way more appropriate when Edmonton is at Hoth-like temperatures.

Come. ON.

Give me a friggin break.

Plan, what now, D?

I am really skeptical about the effectiveness my tape-all-kinds-of-sh*t-to-the-wall plan for insulation. Instead of a cold room, I have a cold room with an ugly wall.

Danger-esque

I'm not sure I could take a photo that better captures Danger. And I've tried.

She knows, She knows.

Here's how it works: You have an idea for your hair that you think is awesome, then you ask Kristina to help you make it happen, and she says she's not sure if she can do it, then she makes it awesomer than you had imagined. 3 times so far.

Sweet!

My first rock in play, and it's in the house! And it only took me 7 throws! I love how talking about curling sounds like nonsense.

You Probably Shouldn't Read This One, Mom

I've never had a space heater, so even though this space heater is probably cool enough that you could use it as a chair, I couldn't stand the way this yarn was lying a mere foot away from it. Then I went upstairs to make breakfast:
... and thought little of the way the old curtains were reaching out towards the word "Hot Surfaces" next to the glowing red elements. Because that happens every day.

Stay Tuned

So specific!

Flash Mob!

Gary is a great supervisor and a busy man. At the sound of his voice in the hall, people literally ran to meet him. To meet with him to schedule other times to meet with him. And half of them were other professors.

But I have

The best thing to do when you can't sleep at night is make art. While I was knitting, Octavian was writing poetry. While not as brazenly autobiographical as his other compositions, the following poem was best suited for the blog:

dusk turns into dawn

shadows smoothly retreating

you had sex on me.

Worst. Party. Ever.

Finally made it out to Canadian Tire today. Changed my life: Bought a space heater that doesn't work and lighter fluid for a hand-warmer that I can't get to work. At least I know where to return the stuff.

Must.... Resist.... Imperative......

I would if I could, mystery door, I would if I could.

YOU try sitting in the middle of a choir singing that

I used to get right into the part when we were singing Gilbert and Sullivan, and I always teared up a little when singing that German love song to beer, but the buildup at the end of the Swingle Singers version of the Organ Fugue was the only time I've ever had to stop singing to prevent myself from crying.

I Digress.

All the time. I just went out to buy duct tape. It was -20C but I didn't even wear a real jacket because I was just going to run half a block. Instead, I went to 4 different stores over 6 long blocks and came back with everything you see here. My theory that if any individual item is less than $5 you can buy an infinite number of them without spending more than $5 in total didn't help

Misunderestimating Intelligence

It took me until 10 hours after I got to the airport to find out that the reason I was going to have to stay as much as 36 more hours was not, despite the claims of several fellow passengers and at least one gate agent, the result of George W. popping in to Chicago for a visit. Turns out they had planned for that. No, what they failed to plan for was the fact that THE WINDY CITY might not be the best place to put the BUSIEST AIRPORT IN THE WORLD, since it may lead to the occasional weather delays. Like if they might occasionally have weather that's bad for planes to take off and land in. Like wind.

!!!!!!!!!!

What is the matter with me! I'm looking for a bookstore all weekend, and the whole time there's a perfect used bookstore where they don't sort their bulk paperbacks so you can get 2 Philip K. Dick books for $3.50 each a BLOCK AWAY FROM THE HOTEL. Good ones, too.

No Question About It

If you had one last morning in the windy city, how would you spend it?

Outside the Box

Man, this awesome breakfast place, Orange, they weirded everything up. Here's my meal: Water with cucumber in it, orange/carrot/ginger/tomato juice, and pan-seared oatmeal. Please read that again. It is true.

McDonald's the Future Yourself, Motherf*cker

Marnie is also, you guessed it, awesome. We spent the evening sightseeing. After meandering the magnificent mile, failing to find an open used book store, and finding the Navy Pier thoroughly disappointing:
... we decided to go for upside-down deep-dish spinach pizza at Uno.
Then we walked home, noting with care the danger of falling ice.
These signs are everywhere, and when you consider their implication, they're pretty terrifying. First of all, the ice is obviously falling from the tops of buildings, aka THE INFINITE DEPTHS OF SPACE:
Second of all, what the hell am I supposed to do to avoid it? They should read: DANGER: YOU COULD BE IMPALED AT ANY TIME. TRY WALKING IN FRONT OF THE SPEEDING TRUCKS ON THE STREET INSTEAD. OR DUCK. NOTHING WILL HELP.

YOU DO NOT IMPRESS BALZAC!

The alternate title for this post is "Screw You Too Chicago Two: The Institute." Screw you for having all of your permanent collection open for non-flash photography. Stupid forgotten camera.

Oh, and I threw in a couple of graffitis (?) from a bathroom at a Thai restaurant. The thing I love about cities is the art everywhere.









... This one is called "Max Ernst invents the iPod in 1927"

Screw You Too, Chicago.

Of course Chicago had to go and rub in the fact that I forgot the charger for my good camera by being full of fantastically g*dd*mn photogenic city scenes. Sorry. Just imagine all of these pictures but with higher resolution, better focus, and not looking vaguely like sheet metal.