Special Treatment

A whole elevator dying, it doesn't have the same personal touch as having just your floor going out. 

Do

PARSE ERROR....... UNRECOVERABLE...... SNOW CRASH IMMINENT................

Found Art

I'm not sure I could think of a lovelier way to describe Data.  

Incidentally, he's got pretty good shape for $40 O.B.O.:

Obligatory Beatles Lyric Title

The secret to being 1284th best in the world at a video game is to buy it the day it comes out and play it all the way through in one sitting.  With 5 other people helping.

Erwachsene Surprise

What is this even supposed to look like?

Thanks Wonderland

Cheapass Games (R.I.P.) could probably have charged more for a game I can play with a pendant, a Russian nesting doll, a box of dental floss, and a packet of silica gel. 

Fair Market Value

The Farmer's Market!  So great!  If I could buy their foods by the pound, I'd be able to afford only the tiny amount that they're already willing to give me for free.  Done!