Zillions of Diltses

Did I ever tell you that story about my brother? Did I fail to make it clear which one of these three I was talking about?[The one in the middle is my dad.]  Oh, that's not a great picture of Simon.  Here he is with a Martini made of chocolate and Marshmallows, FTLOG: And anyway, brothers don't make up nearly half of the Diltses these days:

Andrew is the one sublimating between my mom and Joanna.

Merry Christmas Everybody

I took most of the day off for obvisous reasons.

Spasiba Tovorisch!

Mom read my chocolate prune post and liked the idea. Tatiana read her nostalgic comment and had her mom send two whole bags of two different varieties of chocolate-covered prune all the way from Moscow.  Mom likes them both.

Holiday Traditions

It wouldn't be a Dilts Family Christmas without a trip to a fancy-pants suburban mall.  Usually it's not this snowy: How fancy-pantsy was it?  Well, there were your standard creepy mezmerizers:

The under-escalator grand piano players:

And, new this year, theoretical cars on the floor will smash into your foot FOR FREE:

GAZE UPON IT IN TERROR AND WONDER

A COMPUTER THAT SEWS!  nay....... Embroiders.  Your Doom.

Homonculography

Joanna learned something new about her place of birth today. She saw a bunch of people at the airport doing this:Matt explained that the distinctive shape of the lower part of michigan leads everybody to point to their hands when they describe where they live. If you live here long enough, you don't even need two hands:

Outside Help

I guess things in Detroit are getting pretty out of hand.

Scenes From a Family

Simon puts his real-life drumming experience to good use while Matt sings.

Andrew tries to avoid photo evidence that he has ever in his life played Rock Band.

Simon, who hosts a nature show on a South African wildlife television channel, uses a gift his fans sent him to hide from Papparazzi.

Winning 2 out of 3 wasn't bad either

Curling is great mostly because you get to see all of your old friends at the same time.

Brag/Complain? Bragplain?

I had all of two days to brag about how Edmonton's weather is worse then Waterloo's before we got hit by SNOW-MAGEDDON!!!!!!11!!!!!

Louis Louis

That movie Three Kings is Dr.-Strangelove-hilarious in the sense that the world is terrible and sad.

WEATHER UPDATE

When I said it was -24 in yesterday's post, I meant it was a high of -24.  At noon.

cha!

Not too many people stuck around in -24 degree weather to dance.  Those of us that did made do. 

So..... Empty.....

This is the best sculpture I have ever seen.  A bronze man eating a burger sitting alone having an existential crisis in one of the food courts at the West Edmonton Cathedral of Capitalism.   

Absolutely none

I miss nerds.

Profiling

The problem with Amazon's recommendations is that if you look up books that somebody else wants, you wind up getting a whole page of right-wing commentators' thoughts on parenting.

Let Me Assure You

The best time to go furniture shopping is during a blizzard.

Mixed Messages

Badass Jack's, the motorcycle-themed badass health food fast food restaurant, decided to sell Taj Mahals for Christmas because they thought they could make just a little less sense.  

Best Idea Ever

So, Mom, Simon and I were brainstorming ideas for what to do New Years Eve, and mom was like "We could see a movie." And we were like "meh" and then she was like "or we could go to dinner?" And we were like "meh" and then she was like "Or, we could gather up the Christmas ornaments that were damaged in the fire and chuck 'em against the trash compactor to smash 'em." I do not need to tell you what we were, in response, all totally like.If you don't know my mom, you don't know how surprising that was. But I guess she's full of surprises.

Antrhopomorphosyncretism

And lo, though the good camera's batteries were dead, it still found some way to be useful for the blog.