Saturday, February 19, 2011

Walmart is Gun Free??

Video of Ziv yawning is here. NSFB (Not Safe For Babies) adventures below.
I had Joanna take me to the guns section of Walmart, but we could only find BB guns, so I asked a guy working there. I swear to you, the conversation wasn't exactly like this, but everything you might be shocked by is pretty much verbatim:

Me: "Do you have real guns?"
Guy: "No, you won't find those at any walmart stores. [...] What kind of gun are you looking for?"
Me: "No, I'm just from Canada, and I wanted to see if I could buy a gun."
Guy: "Oh, yeah, for sure, try Cabela's. Look at me: I'm 19 and I've got an assault rifle."
Me: "No background check?"
Guy: "Yeah, I just went in to Cabela's, said 'I'd like that' and 'here you go!'" [mimes putting something on the counter]
Me: "Just your driver's license??"
Guy "What! Not even, man! My 13 year old cousin has a gun! Anything goes for home protection, this is Texas! Like, see, look at these bullets: These are .45s. One woman was using one in a Desert Eagle and Bam! [mimes gun kickback] It broke her whole face!"
Me: "..."
[...more crazy things...]
Me: "Are those hollow-points??"
Guy: "These are mushroom-points. Normal bullets, you shoot someone with them and they go right through your wall, they kill your neighbours, they kill your neighbours' kids, whatever. I mean, fuck 'em, they're your neighbours, right? Sometimes they're annoying! But these bullets mushroom out and stop in the person you're shooting, so you don't kill your neighbours' kids."
Guy: "This is Texas, man. As long as they're on your property, anything goes. You can shoot 'em, you can tie 'em up and shoot 'em, whatever."

This conversation made me feel much less excited about the machetes:

3 comments:

Simon said...

What I think the "gentleman" cough cough was getting at about no "real guns" at the walmart are those that he doesn't consider to be powerful like an assault rifle. As you can indeed buy guns that fire real bullets at walart as that is where I purchased my 20 gauge after completing hunter safety course (I no longer have it). In some states it is a little harder to get a gun as they do check licenses, and if something doesn't match up (like you have a different address) they require more documents (of course there is a way around it). But in TX it is probably a little easier due to their laws and protection "make my day law" is one of them.

As for the machetes here is something that might excite you about them. They make excellent pizza cutters, no need for the back and forth action of the wheel cutter. Just lay across pizza and push down and voila cut pizza :) I have used that exact model that you are holding as one :)

Heidi said...

I have to provide photo ID and a piece of mail with my address on it just to get a membership at Blockbuster.

Phil said...

Simon: That _does_ make me feel better about Machetes!

And Heidi: that makes my blockbuster membership seem much more dangerous.