Saturday, May 31, 2008

"Shotgun" works too

If any word belongs between the words "Aristocrat" and "Mart" it is the word "Liquor".

Step 1: Purchase Grappling Hook. Step 2: Grapple

Getting from this side of the giant pit with the crane arm in the middle of it to the other side could be SO MUCH FASTER AND AWESOMER than it is.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Canada is really serious about this French business

I'm not even bilingual, and I'm a linguist.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Values Voters

I think I would describe her record as "mixed".

Saturday, May 24, 2008


As a vegetarian, I can only buy half of what Dr. Meat & Food has to offer. I sincerely hope "Boogies" are in that half.

Friday, May 23, 2008

You bet!

I'm always looking for an adventure cool enough to prevent my mouth from closing. AMT had just the idea this weekend: A trip to Calgary via the Icefields parkway. Banff and Jasper were obviously built for tourists, who prefer that every aspect of their experience be mountain themed:
and constantly need to use the bathroom:Between the town sites, the Rockies were as beautiful as ever. I almost didn't recognize the Athabasca Glacier
probably because the last time I was there it was under somewhat less hospitable conditions.

We finally got to Calgary, where Steph showed us that strip mall pubs are much classier than they are in Edmonton:
Which did nothing to prevent AMT from becoming exasperated

Thursday, May 22, 2008


The only thing even potentially better than a cocktail party is a cowboy party.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008


Aren't they great? You just have to buy them and then you automatically learn the stuff in them! That's the theory I operate under, anyway.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


I don't know what either of these t-shirts are about, but I know which one is way, way awesomer.

Sunday, May 18, 2008


Glass glasses have given me nothing but problems, so I was delighted to receive one that was more resilient:

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Lady Lycopene

I didn't think anything of this mural until Tanya pointed it out. Do they have East Side'ses in America? Do Americans consider this sacrilege? I mean, real Americans, not, like, technically Americans who left when they were 6?

Friday, May 16, 2008

Public Service Announcement

It turns out that if you are wearing glasses you should not try to hit a soccer ball with your FACE. Also, if you take gymnastics when you're a kid you can fold in half.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

So Sweet

Look at this sucker, playing like it's a real dumpster.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008


Why is the price so proudly displayed? Is there some other byzantine fitness machine that I should know about? A device whose price-per-minute ratio this one greatly exceeds?

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Entertainment Plan: ENACTED

It turns out it's worth squeezing 98% of the people in Edmonton into your apartment because it increases the possibility that one of them has found you an impossibly perfect gift.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

10 bowlers enter 1 BOWLER LEAVES

Red Deer manages to be both idyllic and post-apocalyptic, the kind of place where the evil Alpha Corporation first released the virus that killed 99.9% of the earth's population and turned the remaining 0.1% into savagely, blood-thirstily kindly bowlers.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Teddy's is way classier than I had imagined you should go

AMT shouldn't have to put up with this nonsense. Not on her birthday.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Back in Edmonton

We got to the Edmonton airport about 21 hours before my brother got there, and about 24 hours before he left again. Still, in the three hours he was here he managed to learn more about Alberta than I have in the last three years.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

bahkybep? ekc|-|pecc?

We had Soviet breakfast on the Quay today, with Anna Pavlova and Karel Gott:
Then we, like, did stuff downtown. I guess I got tired of taking pictures. Until, that is, we got on the plane and I had the chance to settle an old bet with AMT:
... who rightly believed that the row behind 3 should be row 4, no matter how classy the people in row 3 are. But alas.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Vacation Vacation

Tonks took most of the pictures today, which is why there's more Phil in Phil's Life than usual.
We started off with fancy cakes for breakfast, and proceeded to the zoo, at which I found part-time employment:
Then it was across the seabus to see downtown.
We saw the steam clock by contractual obligation:
From there we decided to go to the Sun Yat Sen Chinese Garden. I choose a direct route, not realizing that the part of Hastings we were going to pass by was East Hastings. I didn't stop to take too many pictures other than this one. Anywho, Japanese Dollar store shopping was much more interesting (and less expensive) than the Chinese Garden, so we stopped off at the International Something-or-other mall. Lunch was Indian food, bubble-tea, and fisticuffs:
After walking around downtown for a while, we eventually found our way to the art gallery, which was closed but otherwise a great place to rest.
[UPDATE: we actually went to the museum on the 6th.]

Sunday, May 4, 2008

More Vancouver

Being savvy West-coasters, we knew well enough to avoid the expensive suspension bridge and head to the free one instead:Then we headed downtown, which was welcoming in a surprising way:
Our first goal was the Museum of Anthropology, which was welcoming in a more subversive way:
I loved the museum, which had Salish writing for me to pronounce everywhere. It was full of unhappy faces, though:

Actually, this last one looks pretty content. It could be because he's the Tsimshianic representation of the first European.

The museum is on the UBC campus, which made it easy for us to go see Steve's lab. Here he is pretending to do science for us:

And here we are blatantly disregarding a biohazard warning
We finished off the day on the beach, flying Steve's attack kite:
which was totally rad.

Saturday, May 3, 2008


It turns out Billingsworth reads this blog as much as mechanically possible, so I'm glad to get a chance to put her on it. We've known each other since before she moved in to the Brothel, but I haven't seen her much since she moved to Vancouver, where she works as a college math instructor and part-time enforcer:
She took Tatiana and I to Lighthouse Park, where you can only fish using really long polesA good time was had by all.
After seeing the beach, heading up the mountain, eating some sushi, and buying a car, we went back to her apartment for some well-earned rest on her outrageously scenic balcony: